In this last edition of Stress-free September things are going to get real deep and personal. Make yourself comfortable, wrap yourself in that blanket and sip a cup of tea so we can get into this.
Anxiety and stress are not fun and can actually cause you to become really, really unwell. Throughout the month of September I shared my tips on how to stay healthy, and how to prevent these negative thoughts from making their way in. The idea of this series literally just came to me towards the beginning of September, when I was finally starting to feel like myself again. August has honestly been one of the most depressing months in my life, I was questioning everything, nothing and nobody seemed to be able to cheer me up and it became so difficult for me to just get up in the morning and start the day.
It wasn’t just me that was feeling like this though. To my surprise, I found out that most of my friends were feeling very depressed, lonely or stressed. I experienced so many different and intense emotions that I struggled to avoid them, therefore I decided to get to the root of what I was struggling with. And it wasn’t easy…
Most of what I was feeling was very similar to being homesick, I felt lost, unhappy and uncertain of what to do and how to be happy again. When I asked myself if I wanted to go back home the answer was no, when I asked myself if I was happy in London the answer was also no. Great right?! To give you an example, I was longing to spend time with old friends, most of which don’t even live in The Netherlands anymore so I knew going back home for that reason wouldn’t be an option.
After a lot of back and forth between home in Amsterdam and home and London, I realised what my problem is. I am stuck in this ‘in between life’ where I don’t really feel like my childhood home is my home anymore but I haven’t really made enough effort to create a new home for myself. As I have always been very independent and quite confident with who I am I never really had to ‘find myself’, although I can definitely say that I’ve come out of my shell completely since I moved to London. What I haven’t found yet though, is my place in this world. Moving to London always seemed like it was going to be the solution to all my problems, but although it did solve some problems it also created many more.
I suppose it all comes down to being a young adult. It is the first time you need to really look after yourself, be 100% responsible and it is definitely not easy when you still have such vivid memories of what a carefree life is like. I know what I want to achieve in life, which puts me at an advantage compared to those still figuring that out, but how to get there is something I haven’t quite figured out yet.
However, knowing exactly what I am struggling with has massively reduced my anxiety. So if you are in the position to dig a little deeper into what it is that you’re feeling and try to understand it, you might feel better. But I am definitely not a mental health expert, I am simply sharing my experience and what has worked for me when I hit an all-time low.
Remember everyone is on their own journey.
Lots of love,